A Skewed View

Just in case you were wondering if the season dulls my usual sense of humour: Uh, no. No it does not. (check out the guy in the oven. he really sells the shot.)

Given that the weather reports for Edmonton this weekend are grim grim grim (lows of minus 33, highs of minus 25 -- with wind chills of around minus 35 to 40), I woke up early this morning to get all errands for the weekend out of the way in one fell swoop. I barely needed a coat this morning as I headed out to my car to embark on my mission. With each passing hour, the thermometer dipped a degree or twelve. By time I was done driving around (and paused to catch a movie at the neighbourhood googolplex), it was chill-lay outside. I am now snuggly boarded up in my apartment, with no plans to so much as peek my nose out my window until Tuesday (when the temps shall return to a balmy minus 15). Groceries? Check. Toiletries? Check. Magazines to curl up with? Check. Christmas Presents? Check. Lessee, I got my father what he's been asking for since I was old enough for him to give me his Christmas wish list: And I think my mother will enjoy her bungalow by the stream: For my sister and he...

It's a cleaning bug. And today was only one of about six times in my whole life that I've been bitten. Dusting and washing floors and the whole kitten kaboodle. If anyone wishes to visit my apartment, they should do it right this second. Cuz I will not be responsible for its condition if you delay longer than a few hours.

I have put my tree up! =) Okay, so "up" means all 2 foot 4 inches of Christmas tree if one counts the star topper. I really enjoy turning out the room lights to take pictures of Xmas lights. Of course, the last time I took such a picture it was of my parents' Xmas tree... (Yes, Santa is riding a tricycle past the front of their tree.) Shortly after I snapped this picture, one of my parents' man-eating Rottweilers -- I mean Papillons came racing up the stairs from his cushy night-time dent in my mother's comforter to chase me away from the tree. Followed shortly, I'm sorry to say, by my mother wondering why her carnivorous bauble was shattering the silence of her night with its shrill yapping. I denied knowing what the dog's problem was (which philosophically is true, as the creature is a few treats short of a Scooby-snack) and m y mom turned sleepily back towards her bedroom ... I suspect figuring she was not in fact awake anyway. Confident my own apartme...

A few days ago mother nature so gently nudged me into realizing it was in fact November in Edmonton, random snow falls and all: At first I was down. And cold. Then I remembered three things ... namely Puff: Skipper: and Rose: About three Christmases ago I was downtown for an office Christmas dinner, but my fear of arriving late when I do not know how long it will take me to get someplace new left me with many minutes to spare before I was to run into anyone else. So I decided to engage in some window shopping. I had only enough money in my pocket for my meal that eve, so no treasures were to be coming home with me at all. Then I sensed someone staring out from a shelving unit cluttered with some of most ghastly and tacky Christmas decorations imaginable. Six coal briquette eyes burrowing holes in me, begging me to release them from their low-rent neighbours: The best I can do, I promised as I cuddled them in my arms before placing them carefully back in their unfortunate circumstance,...

I fell in love with the work of a local (ish) artist. He does brazilian soapstone carvings of wildlife -- primarily of bears, but there are also various birds, bunnies and walruses. Pictures of his work just do not do them justice, but he mixes realistic creations: With whimsical presentations: They are just exquisite and must be shared. (source: www.vancetheoret.com ) Of course, my last errand of the day was to pick up my baby. He's going to be 10 years old in April, and now he's just as shiny and perfect as new! [If you can't tell, that's the fixed front fender of my RAV4. ] (source: a really messed up car owner )

This morning I washed my red bathrobe with my towels, some washcloths and a random assortment of socks ... and now all my laundry is pink. And last night I was making popcorn in a hot air popper when a super-heated kernel jumped ship and lodged between my big toe and my second, uh, biggest toe. When frantic foot shaking proved fruitless, and before I could put down the dishes in my hand to dig it out, the kernel had actually burnt the skin between my toes -- and damn if the skin didn't blister by this morning. Because of a frickin popcorn kernel! I would have gone to the doctor today, but I refuse to be the reason why nurses titter in the hallways. So the next time I have nothing of interest to report, I'm keeping my big trap shut. (and yes, as mentioned by my anonymous commenter, a "freelance filmmaker" in Edmonton has been charged with killing a man, maybe or maybe not in order to fuel his own storytelling ability. http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVN...

I'm sure all of you who are hanging on my every word are scrambling for a hand-hold right about now. I got nothing. I woke up before noon on Sunday ... but just because of daylight savings time. I'm reading an Elizabeth I autobiography that I picked up for a story idea I have, only to find out that it is a real page turner and I can't put it down. I'm on pins and needles to see how it turns out. My apartment's pretty clean, with the exception of my bedroom. I think I'm genetically predisposed to have a pig-sty bedroom, and fear the biological repercussions if I ever actually cleaned it. Taking in my car tomorrow to be repaired. Yes, the body work business is obviously going like gangbusters in Edmonton because the earliest appointment I could get was about four months after I needed one. I got nothing.

(and look damn excited about it too, eh?) Okay, so it was just to Frankenstein's Creature... ...for Halloween.

Contrary to whatever people thought they could attribute my child-free status, now the sailing is smooth: http://alberta.ca/home/NewsFrame.cfm?ReleaseID=/acn/200810/24550063EBE33-96F3-5ED1-46942B3A9CB6A7DE.html This pleases me. It is about 15 years too late, given that midwives have been registered since 1994, and the fact their services were not funded was always for me the hallmark of government inefficiency, short-sightedness and just how far down polititians would bow to powerful interest groups. (ask ANYONE who works for Alberta Health and Wellness. Nothing kills a policy quicker than physicians putting a contract out on it.) Bygones! Now women can choose who perches between their legs in the catcher position. And if you don't understand just how good this is for couples expecting babies, you've been horribly misinformed about the merit of having choices...and about the brilliance of midwifery.

I knew it! I just knew something was different yesterday! "One of these things is not like the other ..." HA! Look what happens when I move to Edmonton-Strathcona. I have the powah!! (This renews my faith in a very small selection of Albertans. And I am just tickled by how it looks. Some may say "Oh, those liberal university students!" -- but then they'd just be proving our case for us by pointing out that we are the ones with the higher education here ...)

I got the strangest feeling today after I walked out of my designated voting stations ... I felt a rush of patriotism. I was struck by how often we walk through our days underappreciative of just how beautiful and exhilarating our marvelous country truly is -- flaws and all. We have created and successfully defended a system where each individual can walk into a church or a community hall or a school gymnasium and say who they want to speak on their behalf. Some may be able to walk a few blocks to their designation voting station. Some may have to travel for some distance from their isolated homes to a communal designation voting station. But this is a day where each one of us actually count, in a time where not all world citizens can say the same. When I walked out of the voting station, I felt a connection with all the people I walked past on my way to the grocery store (the voting station was on the way to the Safeway -- I was already out, might as well fit in a few chores al...

I have been spending much time organizing things lately -- my apartment, my closet, my life -- and I have given some consideration to whether people who have life plans in place are onto something. Thusly, I have mapped out a life plan for the next few years. For the sake of argument, let's say it is a Five Year Plan: Fix up a few feature scripts I have written that need to be strengthened and then complete a solid television spec script/series proposal ... - so I can get an agent or reapply to the CFC ... -- so I can get a tv writing job or get a feature film produced ... --- so I can get the money to buy a home with a backyard ... ---- so I can finally get a german shepherd. So there you go. The solid scripts, agent/CFC graduation, writing job/produced movie and home buying are all simply a means to an end. At the end of five years, I will have a dog. I have decided.

Time has no meaning when your schedule is your own. When I'm left to my own devices, which used to only be on weekends, I'm inclined to stay up until 3 or 4 a.m., then sleep until about 11 a.m. I'm going to have to do some serious resetting of my internal clock when I'm back to work. Up until Saturday I was spending my nights in a theatre at the Edmonton International Film Festival. Check out my review blog for my comments on the movies I've seen. All 1,255 minutes of them. It was nine days/nights well spent. Festival movies are by nature a bit more skewed than wide release movies. Not that I'd care to write a movie about a 12 year old neighbour girl who happens to be a vampire or explore what my bowels would say if I were struck down by cancer -- but I believe such exposure to stories without boundaries did help widen my own creative thoughtzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...*snort* wha - What?!

Let’s start today with some inspiration. http://www.discoverychannel.ca/shows/showdetails.aspx?sid=10899 I love this commercial (this one site is kinda annoying with all the interrupting to stream and all that, but I can’t find it any other place). I get that it’s only a commercial. It’s just that it really speaks to me. The beauty of this world, and what makes it go round in the metaphorical sense, is that everyone loves something different. If we all wanted to study hot magma, who would be picking the nose of Egyptian kings? If we each love our thing, and put our effort into exploring and understanding and celebrating that thing, then that will make this big ol’ ball of water and dirt a wonderful thing. On that note, welcome to Monday and the start of my week of movies. I got me one of these: An Edmonton International Film Festival all-access pass. I’m seeing a movie every night ... and even two on some nights. A few weeks back I went through the festival program and booked all the ...

A few months ago, I believe I shared my epiphany on how to reduce stress in my life: I'd quit stressing. Of course, that was successful on and off, and quitting the job that brought on most of my stress proved to be the most successful path of all for that dilemma. I have lately contemplated how to extricate myself from a specifically undesirable situation, namely getting sucked into someone else's drama. Then it hit me: just extricate myself. Or, in other words: don't get sucked into someone else's drama. Brilliant, you may scoff, just how the devil are you supposed to do that ... and why are you telling me about it? Well that's the question isn't it ... and who the devil else am I going to tell at 12:35 a.m.? ... Unless the key is perspective. In the scheme of what could be threatening people across the planet, extrication from someone else's fabricated drama is so significantly insignificant. Yeah. That helps. Perspective. Thanks. You've been a doll t...

So I was in Winnipeg on the weekend and did some wildlife viewing. I grabbed my coat and shoes and struck out in pursuit of a crane I had been told frequented the lake behind my Aunt/Uncle/Gramma's house. I took three steps onto their patio and discovered him waiting for me majestically . Look at that face. All majestic-like. (Okay. so a bit more nut-job-like. Still, cool bird.) Then I caught a glimpse of the mythical domesticus caticus. This one didn't get the memo that I am beloved by all animals, wild and domestic alike, so this is the closest I was able to come all weekend. This little guy rounded out the photo safari that night. Now that I'm home, I introduced my newest pet to his flower-strewn habitat. Gramma bought me this froggie just for being myself. Yes, I'm just that good. While I'm putting up pictures, the Committee gave me this plaque as a goodbye gift last week. Wasn't that nice? And scarily appropo? Can you read it - it says "Do what is righ...

Actually I intended to post this during the afternoon to highlight the fact that I'm not at work these days, thus instilling in you an unsightly level of envy and self-loathing. Oh well. Maybe you'll read this tomorrow while you're at work, and the effect will be the same. Did you know Value Village was having a half-off sale today? I didn't until I got there and had to circle the parking lot a couple of times to find a space. I stuck it out and bought three pairs of jeans: one blue, one black and one white. I think it came to $15. Then it was off to the mall to use some gift cards it would appear I had been hoarding unbeknownst to me. A few years ago, I left my wallet in a cafeteria at work and had to track down a security guard to let me back in after hours to retrieve it. Ever since then, I've avoided keeping anything unnecessary in my wallet -- which often means I have only cash and maybe my license (if I'm going to be driving) in my wallet. So imagine my su...

August 24, 2008 My legs caught a break today. I’ve been staying up until 2 or 3 a.m., and then sleeping in until maybe 10 a.m. This morning I was up at 8:30 though, so I made breakfast and hauled it down to the beach to eat it there. Today was supposed to be the hottest day of my visit, but it was cloudy and windy all day. I geared up for a walk on a nearby trail, but on the way I stopped at a beach a bit further up the lake than I usually went. I decided that while it wasn’t exactly sunny, it was still rather warm. So I abandoned the walk and returned to grab my bag for an afternoon at the beach. The water was too cold today to swim, so I just sat with my feet in the water and read. The owner came by tonight. Last time I was here, I didn’t meet him once. His wife did everything. Which leads me to believe his wife isn’t around this time. Maybe any more. I could speculate scandalous reasons for her absence. But I digress. He stopped by to give me a birthday cake, complete with flowers a...

August 23, 2008 Today was a day of relaxing. I had to go into town because while I have 72 double-A batteries for my camera at home, I neglected to bring even four with me on vacation. Which brings us to why I have 72 at home. I’m always forgetting to bring any of them with me, so I always have to buy them when I’m out of town. But I digress. Into town for batteries, and I stuck around for some window shopping (which netted two pairs of earrings, a watch and a vanilla iced coffee) and lunch. Then back to the beach to read by the water and a little swimming. Well, dog-paddling really. It seemed more prudent, being in the water by myself, to stay close to shore in one spot that was a few inches from where I could stand up. In theory. In reality, waves have their own plans. I’d dog paddle a few minutes, then have to swim back to where I wanted to be. Paddle a bit. Swim a while. Today was supposed to be about giving my over-walked/hiked gams a break ... maybe tomorrow. But I did fit in qui...

August 22, 2008 So. Dead. I did the Marten Mountain hike. Yikes. It took about an hour and half to do the 2.8 km trail. A muddy, rough, steep incline trail that hardly even looked like an official trail for about half the length. (Now my pants are truly done for. And guess what happens to sneakers with a hole that lets sand in when they meet mud?) I considered turning back about six times. Stopped at this bridge to catch my breath and take off my shoes lest my feet burst into flame. (no blisters though! Bonus) What kept me going forward was the promise of an outhouse on the map. I reached the lake – no frickin’ outhouse! Still, the lake was nice. Not 2.8 km trek nice, but nice. I just wanted to be done the hike, so my exit was as hasty as I could make it without my heart exploding from my chest. I had to stop considerably more often on the way out, but I made it. I’m glad I did the hike, but I would never do it again “for fun”. It was like when we were kids and I’d let my sister haul ...

August 21, 2008 So. Tired. I geared up for a long walk along the lakeshore. Long pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, hat, camera, binoculars, map, water and some snacks. I was off at 12:30 p.m. I was supposed to be able to find a trail to the east of the guesthouse that would take me along the shore back to a picnic area of the provincial park. I most assuredly did not find the trail. I abandoned plan A by 1:00 p.m. But I was already packed to the ears for a long walk, so plan B had to be formed. I hopped in the car and drove to the picnic area – if I can’t walk to it, I’ll walk from it. (I also start from the finish end of puzzle mazes that stump me and work my way backwards to the beginning.) By 1:20, I was on the path. And by path, I discovered that I mean large stretch of sand dunes. Hard to walk on soft sand dunes. I also discovered under those conditions that a hole in my sneakers let in soft sand with impunity. So I veered off “the path” and took to walking on the hard packed wet san...

I didn't have internet access on my vacation at the lakeshore -- so let's look back on the past five days spent in Lesser Slave Lake together: August 20, 2008 Happy Birthday to me! =) I really quite enjoy the drive up to Lesser Slave Lake. For one, unlike Highway 2 South, I have not driven this route about 472 times already in my lifetime. The overcast weather wasn’t even dampening my enthusiasm, because quite frankly that is the perfect driving weather. I was hoping that I hadn’t over-inflated my memory of the suite where I was staying – but as soon as I walked in the door, I knew I hadn’t. So extremely cozy, quaint and with a beautiful view. Immediately I looked forward to the next morning when I would eat breakfast on the balcony. Quite the bonus discovery – the owners have put in satellite tv since my last visit. Two summers ago, my choices were a somewhat passable CBC, a fuzzy CTV and a Global that could be watched if I took off my glasses and pretended that was the proble...

I was waiting at an elevator earlier last week and noticed an adorable dress on the young woman who was standing next to me. As I admired her outfit down to her shoes, I ended up having to stifle a laugh. This lovely, attractive young woman -- who was maybe five feet, five feet two tall -- had HUMONGOUS feet. Flippers really. I had to double check that she wasn't just wearing clunky shoes. Nope. Those dogs were all hers. Poor thing. I think I have cute feet. Especially for a five-six woman who weighs one hundred and *mumblemumble*, wearing a 7 1/2 shoe is cute. So maybe I should be more into shoes. So today I went shoe shopping (you don't want to know how much money I have spent in the 4 days since I've quit my job ... but then you don't have to pay my Visa bill, so it's none of your business anyway). (I won't post pictures of me wearing my shoes. Years ago I posted pictures of a friend who was wearing footed-pajamas. Some creepy guy emailed me asking if I had a...

My last day at work was Friday. I know you're dying to know how it went. It went ... almost unnoticed. Man, my "boss" really has no managerial skills or knowledge. What might you do if one of your three-person office were leaving? Maybe ask the exiting employee where she keeps things? The status of her workload? The process to follow when the reports that need to be edited start coming in? Nothing. Nada. Not one question. It was the end of the day on Friday, I had cleaned out my desk earlier in the week, and just had one small box of knick-knacks to escort home. I stood up and said "Well. I guess that's it for me." Not even a kazoo salute. All this just confirms how much I should have exited. No one should have to work under someone who is this clueless. I have actually never quit because of one person before. Oh, I had been thinking of leaving for months now. Years now? Yeah, I was actually only there a few months and I started thinking of...

(... just in case you are frantically scanning my blog, drooling "But what about Frankenstein? What happened in Frankenstein?!") I was right. The narration folded back upon itself -- from the Monster to Frankenstein to the original Mariner. (you can wipe your chin now.) (p.p.s. do you like the new choice in font size? for those without my niece's eyesight)

Want to know how crazy I am? I spent five hours today doing work that I brought home on the long weekend. Work. Even though I've given my notice, and deservedly so. Just can't brush off the work ethic, I guess. And in the scheme of things, I think that's a good thing. That even when I am in a job that doesn't appreciate me, I still try my best. It isn't about what "they" deserve. It's about the type of person I want to know I am. At least I tell myself that while I'm working on a Sunday and knocking myself on the forehead to the beat of "Hel-lo!" (this picture just amuses me. what are ya gonna do?)

Or: What To Do Now: So I didn’t get into the Centre. Crap. (which, coupled with my Monday afternoon car accident, made this a crappy week) I was quite upset and disappointed when I heard. Not so completely and wholly because I wanted to go to this school, but because I wanted wholly and completely to change my life. I know I still can ... and I still will ... but right at that moment, I was quite upset and disappointed. Still, the rejection is not without some positives. I can hang the pictures on the walls of my new apartment that I had been putting off until finding out if I was moving (why mark up a walls that weren’t going to be mine for more than 6 months?). And buy a hot-air popcorn popper (why buy something I was just going to have to pack or sell again?). And since I don’t need the money right away for a move and tuition, I can take a bit of a vacation at that guest house on Lesser Slave Lake that I love so much (you all think that’s the lamest things you’ve heard – but ...

My crappy week started out okay. The flight to Toronto was fine. Nice fluffy clouds. Toronto was kind of fun, actually. The minute I walked into my hotel room, I was excited. White comforter, white sheets, white pillows – no worries about cleanliness here. Even the chair at the desk was leather. Very nice. Pleased with the hotel. (don’t look at the window, though. Seriously needed a good scrub from the outside.) The first day I just roamed around the neighbourhood and watched tv. Different only from a Friday night at home by the fact I roamed around the neighbourhood. Saturday I got up late and met a friend for a movie. (Oh, did I mention my hotel was a few blocks off Yonge Street, and as such was only about 10 minutes away from a movie theatre? Can I pick ‘em or what?) Batman! ( http://a-skewed-review.blogspot.com/2008/07/dark-knight.html ) Very awesome. Then we went to an ice cream place to chat about life and my impending interview the next day. That night I basically just stayed i...