Monday, December 21, 2009

Bah Humbug

I do not want to be one of “those customers”. I truly don't. But when I sent my Xmas presents out on the 10th to be sure they'd get to Medicine Hat in time, I admit it, I did not accommodate for the 11 days they are going to stay sitting in Mississauga according to the electronic tracking. And why would my packages just pit stop there? Afraid of the weather. I see no fine print on my receipt saying "if packages don't feel like getting chilly, we won't force them to travel". In fact, I kind of pay a federal service to force them out into the cold to make them travel. They’re packages! They’re easy to pick up and move around. They, by definition of inanimate existence, can’t fight such manual manipulation as grabbing them, tossing them on a truck, and driving them where you want them to go.

Canada Post Customer Service Lady actually said I "shouldn't expect mail delivery if the weather is bad". Hello?! Excuse me?! Don’t expect mail service if Alberta gets bad weather?! Isn’t that like saying don’t expect mail service in Alberta? Hello?! How long has Canada Post been in existence? They don’t have a plan for bad Alberta weather yet? It caught them off guard? Left them scratching their heads about what to do when they’re face to face with a snow drift? Black ice? A snowflake on their windshield? Has the world gone mad?! If Alberta hasn’t dropped off the continent, I haven’t heard anything that would derail operations being pretty much business as usual at Canada Post.

Trying very hard to not be “one of those customers”, I did not say any of the above. Right up to the point where the Canada Post Customer Service Lady said I didn’t pay for “Guaranteed Service”, so it isn’t like Canada Post is obligated to get my package anywhere (given, you understand, how they never “guaranteed” they would), right up to then I tried to avoid being one of those customers who take it out on the messenger. Stupid, thoughtless, makes no sense messenger. Then I became one of those customers. Sigh. Asked the woman if she truly believes what she said to me would appease her in my position. If she had sent out packages two weeks ahead of time just to be sure they get there, would being told she hadn’t paid for “guaranteed” service make her feel better about not getting service period, even though the very act of handing over money with my package involved an implicit expectation of service, and acceptance of said money came with it an implied acceptance of that expectation. For, indeed what did I pay for, if not the taking of my package from one location to a location of my choice (Medicine Hat), not theirs (Mississauga)?

She said she wasn’t going to answer personal questions.

I believe a sigh escaped my lips, perhaps followed by the syllable “Fine”. She replied “Thank you for calling.” I counter “No. Thank you.”

Then I tracked her down, stuffed her in a box, wrapped her in plain brown paper and FedEx’d her to Mississauga.

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