.... I got it!
I am now a (volunteer) audience assistant for CBC's Battle of the Blades. (www.cbc.ca/battle/index.php)
Hockey players and figure skaters. It's like I'm living my brother's and sister's dreams. Wait a minute -- I'm part of a tv production, so it's my dream too! A trifecta!
There is no pay. But they will give me subway tokens, so at least I'm not out any money. And the company hires from within -- and they consider volunteers "within" -- so if I play extra nice and helpful and don't push any jerk audience members down Maple Leaf Gardens' stairs for giving me guff, I may be able to parlay this into more than subway tokens.
I think it will be fun. And I know it will get me out of my apartment two nights a week until the end of November. Maybe I can meet Ron Maclean. That would be cool.