A Skewed View

Think about Facebook for a moment. Are you thinking about it? Okay. Hear me out here. When you look through your newsfeeds, seeing all the things your friends post -- the thoughts they express, the novelties that tickle their funny bones, the issue-windmills against which they are tirelessly compelled to tilt -- you realize how very, truly, inexplicably you yourself are fractured into tiny personalities, each being expressed by the hearts and minds of the friends you chose. Done. Thanks for bearing with me. Now it is dinner time. Carry on in my absence, oh bitty pieces of myself. Oh. What if none of my friends exist and my FB newsfeed is truly a manifestation of the varied corners of my own mind? (The hairs on my forearms just stood up.)

 I know I've been Cancer Girl   — and her subset personality,  Survivor Team Dragon Boat Paddler Girl  — of late. I won't apologize for someone I am proud to be, but I will promise to get back to Creative Writing Girl  now. No. It's not because the paddling season is over. Why do you ask? But since you did  ask: What an end to our season! A fabulous weekend paddling at the Penticton Dragon Boat Festival. The weather was quite cooperative, and the water was helpfully calm (which I'm told is unusual for Penticton). Our hotel was right on Lake Okanagan and the sunrises looked like our race jerseys. It was like a four day vacation... I just had to paddle two to three 500 metre races a day in exchange!  For my troubles, I came home with a Third Place medal (for the survivors' race), a Second Place ribbon (for placement in our division), and a beautifully painted tile (from groomeart.com) as souvenirs. A good, good season.

Fortunately, Calgary does not suffer the moist, oppressive heat of a Toronto summer. For the times it aspires to do so, though, I offer you the most important lesson I learned while melting in the sickeningly-sticky, only-in-its-own-mind centre-of-the-Canadian-universe city: the humble sock is the answer you seek. (That, and the presence of wheels on an air conditioner the size of a small freezer should not categorize that unit as "portable".) Of particular salvation is this four-step sock system: (1) Soak socks in cold water so they are wet, but not dripping. (2) Put socks on feet (3) Dangle feet off couch or ottoman or bed so air can circulate around them (4) Feel heat being wicked away through your feet * Bonus points if you can point a fan at your dangling feet. (Stuffing your sports bra with sock-wrapped ice packs works well, to — but that wasn't learned until after I had moved to Calgary.)

If you think about it, the "20 Under 20" or "30 People Who Will Change the World" had a level path to their titles. It's simple to be remarkable when life hasn't had time to take its shot at you yet. If you're not at risk of buckling under the weight of decades of so close , or not quite , or holy crap what did I think was going to happen when I did that , then how far you can put one foot in front of the other doesn't impress me much. Show me someone who's spent more years than these list recipients were alive tripping over their dreams, especially if they never took the hint to stay down. That's the real motivational figure. I think this year might be mine for the taking. For my 55th time around the sun, I might finally get my ducks beak-to-tail, as they say. Of course, maybe I'm looking at one more year herding cats. Lord knows, I've been wrong before. But here's to not staying down... and birthday ice cream. Always birthday ic...

Almost three and a half years ago, I asked here if a 50-year-old can learn to paddle a dragon boat. Then COVID hit. So, truth is, yes: A 50-year-old can learn to paddle a dragon boat. She’ll just have to wait a couple years to actually get on the Glenmore Reservoir to do it. But, once there… well, it will work out quite nicely.  Two paddling seasons and five medals later, I'm itching for this weekend -- the  Calgary Dragon Boat Race & Festival  -- to begin!   

When I was going through treatment for breast cancer, I expected it to be a One and Done thing: Once it was over, I'd be done thinking about it! I’d suffer through the pains and indignities (and OH! the indignities!) of treatment, then put it behind me. Never speak of it again. Never think of it again. I was a writer, not a cancer patient or survivor. That’s what I wanted my life to be about: Creativity. Not potentially life-ending illness. Then I joined the Sistership Dragon Boat team . While the point of the team -- as I’ve mentioned before -- is to condition ourselves to paddle competitively, we are a team of survivors. The topic of cancer does come up now and then. Like when we were waiting to board our plane home from the Nanaimo Dragon Boat festival. A few of my teammates were discussing a television show about a volleyball (or was it soccer) team who took to cannibalism after their plane crashed. When deciding who should be eaten first on our team, I raised my hand as a jo...