On a lark, yesterday I wore high heels to work. These high heels:I had been talking to a girl who works there about boots she's going to buy, and I mentioned I had bought these heels over a year ago but never wore them. Not even once.
So, thinking about the shoes got me thinking about the shoes. And, as a last minute decision on my way out the door Friday morning, I switched my socks to nylons and pulled out these puppies.
Never again.
Don't even get me started on trying to scrape the ice off my vehicle with these frivoloties on my feet. I nearly slipped under the vehicle a couple of dozen of times (my frantic hand prints remain on the side of KITT from the times I flailed out for some sort of lifeline).
I had to take the heels off to drive, otherwise my foot couldn't flex down far enough to urge my car faster than the idle propelled it.
Then there was the parking lot ice rink I had to traverse in order to reach the two-story metal grate stairs to the front entrance of the office (perfect heel tip sized grates, btw).
Once in the office, if I didn't want to sound like a jackhammer clipping along, I had to shuffle along on the balls of my feet over the tiled floor all day. Finally I decided to just take the heels off and scurry in my stocking feet if I had to go further than the length of my desk.
The final insult was after I came back from lunch and saw the man who operates our enormous testing van. I delicately tick-tick-ticked along the icy parking lot, calling out to ask if I could take a look inside the van. With a seriously concerned look on his face, he watched me take my embarrassingly small trotting steps closer and closer to him. This is a man I have worked with for weeks -- who never once before had ever looked at me like he best just throw me over his shoulder and walk me someplace himself for my own good.
High heels take away a woman's power. They reduce us to feeble baby-stepping charity cases. No more, I say. Perhaps for a dinner date. Tink-tink-tink to the car. Take them off to drive. Tink-tink-tink to the restaurant. Sit, eat, enjoy some conversation. Tink-tink-tink back to the car. Take them off to drive. Tink-tink-tink back to the apartment. But that's about all they're good for.
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