A Skewed View

Does anyone else see the rapelling stealth caterpillars hanging from the trees, or have I simply stumbled upon a covert operation lying in wait for me alone? I’ll be walking along a tree-lined street when BAM! – a small pale-green caterpillar is staring me down from his invisible silken line attached to an overhead branch, I swear hanging on by one foot so he can stretch out all other feet towards me in the hopes of latching on and – I don’t know – using me as an unsuspecting mode of transportation for a block or two, until which time he’ll leap from my back using a home-made invisible silken parachute to glide onto his next victim? I look like I’m having some sort of balance confrontation when I see these guys – walking along in a relatively straight line until suddenly my head rears back and I lean sharply to my left (I don’t know why I don’t lean to my right. It’s a thing.) to avoid the dangling potential parasite because my momentum is carrying me right into his trap and it’s too l...

I don't really have more to add. It's just one of life's truths I wished to share.

Okay, I share this not as a complaint, but because my job just keeps getting more surreal each day. I wish to share the latest in a long line of examples of the provincial government hard at work spending your tax dollars. Since my escape plan from this vortex of continual farces is inked and awaiting only an exit date, what do I care in the larger scheme of things? This rat is scurrying off the ship. But before she disappears into the warm Caribbean sea (seriously, you thought I'd jump ship into the Pacific? Fools!), a brief please-tell-me-you're-kidding chuckle: We finally got a new executive director after about a year in limbo -- but she was just kind of introduced to us at our May meeting. She wasn't interviewed or "hired" in any fashion. The head of our division had been invited to our May meeting to explain why there had been no movement to hire an ED, and he showed up with her (I'll call her Ed) in tow, we assumed to counter the tongue-lashing our Comm...

I'm not a huge country fan. The parental units have some seriously messed-up radio station playing in their bathroom in the mornings ... and always seem to forget to turn off the radio when they leave. Probably so that I won't be sure they're done in there, thus preventing me from using up the hot water with my showers when I visit. But I digress. Today I heard a song playing that made me look up the lyrics. It's George Strait's "She Let Herself Go". Allow me to share, with help from www.songlyrics.com : He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye. Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night. But he had no idea, when he hit the road, That without him in her life, she'd let herself go. Let herself go on a singles cruise, To Vegas once, then to Honolulu. Let herself go to New York City: A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty. When he said he didn't love her no more, She let herself go. She poured her heart ...

So, is being a jerk to a jerk still being a jerk, or is it being a conduit of the universe and defender of the karma? At the movies on the weekend, an ape of a man sat in front of me with who I assume was his son. These two were up and down, in and out of the theatre, and chatting throughout the movie. I was annoyed by the up and down, but couldn’t hear their chatting so by and large I actually managed to ignore them. Maybe 20 to 30 minutes into the movie they appeared to be finally done with their random migrations, so I settled in to my seat. I put my feet up against the middle of the back of a seat to the left of Ape Man to be more comfortable. They remained there for perhaps half an hour before Ape and his spawn got up again. When Ape returned, he noticed my feet on the back of the chair to the left of him. He stood right in front of me and said “Wanna get your feet off the damn seat!” It was not a question. (Let me just pause at this juncture to say this – right here – this attitu...

Since moving to my new neighbourhood, I've been taking pictures of things that have struck my fancy or caught my attention. This week I missed a shot, though. Walking to work I saw what I thought was a discarded child's toy in a parking lot. When I got closer though, I saw that someone had placed (or driven) a remote control truck dead centre into a parking spot at the end of a long line of parked vehicles. I laughed for half a block. It was so completely something I would do with the hope that someone would notice, but all the while figuring that I'd be alone in my amusement. It felt good to know someone else out there is on my same wavelength. Sadly, today when I finally remembered to take my camera to work, it was already moved. So here are some shots I didn't forget to get: My first morning in my new apartment, I woke up at 6 a.m. It was a cool, clear morning, and I went for a little walk to see my new neighbourhood in the early light. The way the first bright rays ...

I didn't clean up this weekend. Well, I tidied up. And I finished packing up the things my sister said she'd store for me since my new apartment has decidedly less storage. And I did half a sink full of dishes (I think I need to borrow my niece. I hear she's in a cleaning mood -- speaking of which, when is Aunty Day?). Ooh -- I walked to the grocery store (yes, the walking part is significant) and bought actual items of food rather than frozen or prepackaged stuff. And I stood at various vantage points in my apartment and made a mental list of what I'll sell if I'm going to Toronto -- which is pretty much everything except my tvs (one will come with me), my couch, my end table and my coffee table. I may even dump my closet of clothes in its entirety (let's face it, very little in there even looks good on the hanger.) There is something really liberating about wiping the slate clean and starting over somewhere else. I'm a year away from being 40 yea...