A Skewed View

Think about Facebook for a moment. Are you thinking about it? Okay. Hear me out here. When you look through your newsfeeds, seeing all the things your friends post -- the thoughts they express, the novelties that tickle their funny bones, the issue-windmills against which they are tirelessly compelled to tilt -- you realize how very, truly, inexplicably you yourself are fractured into tiny personalities, each being expressed by the hearts and minds of the friends you chose. Done. Thanks for bearing with me. Now it is dinner time. Carry on in my absence, oh bitty pieces of myself. Oh. What if none of my friends exist and my FB newsfeed is truly a manifestation of the varied corners of my own mind? (The hairs on my forearms just stood up.)

 I know I've been Cancer Girl   — and her subset personality,  Survivor Team Dragon Boat Paddler Girl  — of late. I won't apologize for someone I am proud to be, but I will promise to get back to Creative Writing Girl  now. No. It's not because the paddling season is over. Why do you ask? But since you did  ask: What an end to our season! A fabulous weekend paddling at the Penticton Dragon Boat Festival. The weather was quite cooperative, and the water was helpfully calm (which I'm told is unusual for Penticton). Our hotel was right on Lake Okanagan and the sunrises looked like our race jerseys. It was like a four day vacation... I just had to paddle two to three 500 metre races a day in exchange!  For my troubles, I came home with a Third Place medal (for the survivors' race), a Second Place ribbon (for placement in our division), and a beautifully painted tile (from groomeart.com) as souvenirs. A good, good season.

Fortunately, Calgary does not suffer the moist, oppressive heat of a Toronto summer. For the times it aspires to do so, though, I offer you the most important lesson I learned while melting in the sickeningly-sticky, only-in-its-own-mind centre-of-the-Canadian-universe city: the humble sock is the answer you seek. (That, and the presence of wheels on an air conditioner the size of a small freezer should not categorize that unit as "portable".) Of particular salvation is this four-step sock system: (1) Soak socks in cold water so they are wet, but not dripping. (2) Put socks on feet (3) Dangle feet off couch or ottoman or bed so air can circulate around them (4) Feel heat being wicked away through your feet * Bonus points if you can point a fan at your dangling feet. (Stuffing your sports bra with sock-wrapped ice packs works well, to — but that wasn't learned until after I had moved to Calgary.)

If you think about it, the "20 Under 20" or "30 People Who Will Change the World" had a level path to their titles. It's simple to be remarkable when life hasn't had time to take its shot at you yet. If you're not at risk of buckling under the weight of decades of so close , or not quite , or holy crap what did I think was going to happen when I did that , then how far you can put one foot in front of the other doesn't impress me much. Show me someone who's spent more years than these list recipients were alive tripping over their dreams, especially if they never took the hint to stay down. That's the real motivational figure. I think this year might be mine for the taking. For my 55th time around the sun, I might finally get my ducks beak-to-tail, as they say. Of course, maybe I'm looking at one more year herding cats. Lord knows, I've been wrong before. But here's to not staying down... and birthday ice cream. Always birthday ic...

Almost three and a half years ago, I asked here if a 50-year-old can learn to paddle a dragon boat. Then COVID hit. So, truth is, yes: A 50-year-old can learn to paddle a dragon boat. She’ll just have to wait a couple years to actually get on the Glenmore Reservoir to do it. But, once there… well, it will work out quite nicely.  Two paddling seasons and five medals later, I'm itching for this weekend -- the  Calgary Dragon Boat Race & Festival  -- to begin!   

When I was going through treatment for breast cancer, I expected it to be a One and Done thing: Once it was over, I'd be done thinking about it! I’d suffer through the pains and indignities (and OH! the indignities!) of treatment, then put it behind me. Never speak of it again. Never think of it again. I was a writer, not a cancer patient or survivor. That’s what I wanted my life to be about: Creativity. Not potentially life-ending illness. Then I joined the Sistership Dragon Boat team . While the point of the team -- as I’ve mentioned before -- is to condition ourselves to paddle competitively, we are a team of survivors. The topic of cancer does come up now and then. Like when we were waiting to board our plane home from the Nanaimo Dragon Boat festival. A few of my teammates were discussing a television show about a volleyball (or was it soccer) team who took to cannibalism after their plane crashed. When deciding who should be eaten first on our team, I raised my hand as a jo...

Facebook shows me lots of videos of tourists/random people helping wildlife they've come across in trouble. Great. Glad to see it.  Just a quick note, though: you don't have to let the creature struggle and panic while you film it to show the dire situation it is in. You CAN put down the camera and just help the creature . (No, I'm serious. It is possible. I wouldn't lie about something so important.) You might want to sit down and prepare yourself, but wildlife can be helped without you filming it at all . Contrary to prevailing opinions, posting it publicly in a pitiful attempt to gain pats on your own back does not actually affect the survival rates of the wildlife you helped. (I know! I know! Blew my mind too!)  In fact: In many cases, the rescue goes much quicker -- and is less traumatic to wildlife -- if you use both hands instead of keeping one hand on the camera and one eye on whether you've framed yourself well If two people find wildlife in trouble, this s...

I originally drafted a post in May as response to the Washington Capitals move to terminate Brendan Leipsic’s contract after he disparaged women and teammates on social media. Then the world hit the fan over racism. I realized much of what I had intended to say about misogyny is very similar to what I would say about racism. So, I guess it’s just as well I have been very bad about following through on intentions these past few months. It is more economical to speak on two atrocities at once. Like Leipsic’s misogyny, I'm very saddened by what I am now seeing is widespread racism. I can speak on misogyny more honestly than racism, because only the former has been directed at me. But I truly thought we were teaching our young men better about women and that we as a people were better about race. I was wrong. The advent of social media hasn’t brought about misogyny or racism. It just began recording it for widespread distribution and posterity. Shining a light on these injus...

Just a friendly reminder: Thanos is a fictional character. Racism can't be eradicated with the snap of a finger. It's going to take effort to change how things were up to now. And time to put in that effort. And steps to get there. If someone who hasn't been an ally before tries to be an ally now, negating their effort because they weren't always an ally isn't productive. They were wrong in the past. They can't go back and be right. They're trying to be right now. Let them try. You might get an ally where once you had an opponent. Block them from trying, though, and you'll most likely get your opponent back. If what someone does right today doesn't erase all the wrong someone else did yesterday... well, that's the way this all works. Change happens over the course of a period of time. What matters is someone did something today towards making a change. With momentum, more people can be doing right than are doing wrong. But momentum takes time...

Before we get too happy about any news saying the social distancing and sheltering in place seems to be working, keep this in mind: when you're hiding in the closet because you woke to the noise of a burglar rummaging through your house, you don't come out the second the noise stops. You wait. You wait until you're good and sure the virus - I mean burglar - is good and gone. Because right now you're safe in the closet. Come out too quickly, and the hiding will have been for naught.

This weekend, I had planned to go grocery shopping Monday afternoon. I needed to complete my "stock up in case I get sick and can't leave" cupboard. When I went to bed Sunday night, though, I was feeling woozy, my mouth was dry, my heart was racing, and my muscles felt like bricks. Oh no! I thought. It's too late! I'm already sick. After a few minutes, I realized: I'm not sick. I'm panicking . Panicking at the thought of leaving my house to go to the grocery store! See, I'm one of the lucky  ones who work at an entertainment facility that has cancelled its upcoming performances until further notice - which means I can hole up in my apartment without fear the wall will cough on me. (that also means I have no income right now... but that's another rant) As the popular meme floating around says: "Your grandparents were called to war. You're being called to sit on the couch. You can do this." Yes I can! But after a week and a ...

Whenever I see motorists who refuse to pull over for a fire truck or an ambulance or a police car -- because they're on the way to someplace themselves and they don't want to be inconvenienced by any delay -- I always think the same thing: if all you care about is yourself, then do that. Think of yourself. Maybe it's your house on fire. Maybe your kid was struck by a delivery truck. Maybe someone just robbed the gas station where your spouse was filling up and now has them hostage. You don't know it's not in your interest to make way for the emergency vehicle. Pretend it is, and you'll have no regrets later if you find out you were right. Same thing with COVID-19. Sure, maybe for whatever reason you're not at risk. Maybe you work from home anyway and don't interact with many people on a daily basis. Maybe because of that you assume that when you are out in public, precautions aren't meant for you. Only those at risk need wash their hands, or kee...

...We're going to find out! I have never been a team sport chick. Okay, not never. When I worked for the provincial government, I joined a Corporate Challenge volleyball team that was extraordinary because the people were fun AND we'd win! Huzzah! But until now, I haven't really been part of any ongoing team. Now I've joined a dragon boat paddling team! And I'm 50! Really, the only reason I considered it was because it is a team made up of breast cancer survivors. Different ages, shapes, sizes, and fitness levels. My age, shape, size, and fitness level had to fit in there somewhere! Tonight was my first dry land training date. 45 minutes in weight/aerobics training, then 45 at the side of the pool just paddling. As if we think we can move the pool over a few feet if ten of us sit at the edge and put our backs into it. That being said: it was super fun to sit at the edge of the pool and just put our backs into it. I can't wait for May when we can get onto t...

A world leader laughing along with laughing world leaders is accused of not being able to act like a leader on the world stage. And of not knowing how to treat an ally because of what he thought was privately recounting the ridiculous behaviour - not calling the behaviour ridiculous, but recounting behaviour that can only be considered ridiculous - of a man who publicly, proudly, and without apology disregards the needs and endangers the lives and political structure of allies. The hypocrisy is strong with this news cycle. 

In the 90s, I read a trilogy reportedly approved by George Lucas, written by Timothy Zahn, which continued the story of Luke, Leia and Han. In it, Han and Leia married and had twins. A boy and a girl. The twins were strong in the Force. Leia asked her twin Luke to train them to be Jedi. The new Star Wars movie coming out is called "The Rise of Skywalker". We already know one Skywalker is Kylo. Leia's child. Strong in the Force. Trained, at Leia's request, by Luke. Who has a connection to Rey, reminiscent of Luke's connection to Leia. Which is supposed to be inexplicable for someone who never crossed paths with Rey before. Like Luke supposedly never crossed paths with his twin Leia before. Gee. What an absolutely un-crackable mystery this titular Skywalker will turn out to be. (But at least it would explain why Leia hugged her instead of Chewie after Han died) *Yawn*

I've been seeing people embrace and celebrate the phrase "Ok, boomer" lately. I've found that this disturbs me. I've realized it's because I believe people shouldn't be PROUD of being disrespectful. You may think you had cause to disrespect someone else. Perhaps you even feel they disrespected you first. But showing anyone disrespect should not be something you take pride in. It should be something that you look back on, when you look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, and say "Well. I could have handled that one better." Especially if your argument is they deserved it by disrespecting you first. Because then you're saying it's wrong when others do it to you, but it's something you take pride in when you do it to others. And if there's one thing I abhor even more than disrespect, it's hypocrisy.

I don't dislike Don Cherry. But let's face it, his patriotism has always bled into the "anti-foreigner" camp. Usually anti-Europeans. Mostly the ones in the NHL. Again, that doesn’t mean that I dislike him. It means that I disagree with the way that his mind seems to work. He is a voice from another time. A voice from when we didn’t know better. And that voice has profited him well, as it has many people who, like him, speak their minds regardless of consequence. That’s not a bad thing, being honest about one’s opinion. Not staying silent because of who might react. It’s admirable on its face. But this adds a different dimension which is less admirable: perpetuating stereotypes that have no basis in fact. Stereotypes which form the basis of knee-jerk, us-vs-them rhetoric. We know better now than to foster that rhetoric. So, I think moving on from Don Cherry was just a matter of time. That isn’t what has captured my attention about this situation, though. What capti...

If you want a recap, that is. Years ago, my last post set off a reaction that is inexplicable to me to this day. How my statement that I was going to listen to myself above all others could have been interpreted as anything except empowering my own choices remains beyond me. Ironically, it put me off sharing my thoughts and feelings any more. I decided that being honest about where I was emotionally wasn't worth it if I had to labour under other people's reactions to that honesty. I decided it was best to keep it all to myself. Quite the opposite of empowering, you might say. And you'd be right. What's changed since then? Events since that post have proven to me that getting my thoughts and feelings outside of myself is much less damaging to my physical and mental health than damming them up inside in an attempt to protect other's thoughts and feelings.  If my choice is between chancing someone else's negative opinions or my own health, I'm going...

Yes.

“You need to decide: television or movies.   You can’t try to write both and expect either format’s producers to take you seriously.”   “These days you have to be a generalist.   You have to show you can be flexible and have proficiency in a wide range of formats.   No one will take a chance on a new writer who appears to have a tunnel-vision approach to the industry.”   “Stick to one genre.   If you write comedy, become known as the go-to comedy writer.   Anyone seeing you’ve written comedy specs and drama specs will think - and rightly so - that not only do you not know what you are doing, you don’t even know what you want to do.”   “Have spec scripts in a wide range of genres.   There’s too much money on the line for anyone to take a chance on someone whose abilities may be limited.   If you can’t show them you can do more than one genre, they’ll assume you can’t.”   “Send me a half-hour, a one hour, and a feature sample ...